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 (EDITORIAL NOTE: THIS IS THE LOGO FROM THE CLARKE COUNTY EDITION AS I COULDN’T FIND ONE TO DOWNLOAD FROM THE RABUN COUNTY EDITION!)
If you haven’t noticed already, there is a new magazine in town giving the good ole Clayton Place Rag a run for it’s money. The controversial but noteworthy periodical is called “BAD AND BUSTED” and can be acquired for $1.50 at most convenience stores in Rabun, Towns, Stephens and Habersham Counties.
They actually print the mug shots and the charges that each person was arrested for, unlike the Clayton Place Rag that lists one stupid allegation after another stupid allegation. There are a few arrests sprinkled within The Clayton Place Rag, which is their pitiful attempt to report the news, but most of it is like I said, simple accusations of one person filing a complaint, against their neighbor, dog or farm animal!
I kinda wish that “Bad & Busted” had been around during the CINCO DE MAYO incident a little over a year ago. Would that not have been fabulous? Not only would my mug shot, but Nancy’s and the Nemesis would probably have made that front page! I wonder if I contact the people in charge of the “Bad & Busted” and see if they can acquire the mug shots! There is an idea, then I could finish the third episode……..you see there are some people out there who doubt that Nancy had any cuts or bruises on her face. Yep, we have actually received comments on the blog about that. This is an idea worthy of following up on and you all have been so patient about this, I think it is the least we can do!
Okay, off to contact the “B & B” people and see what they can do……….and if you haven’t checked it out, do so, it is worth a few giggles, and hopefully you won’t see a loved one, or God forbid, yourself in it! (Believe me, I say a silent prayer every night!)
POSTED BY: ”I”
I am planning on going to see the new movie out with Julia Roberts, “EAT, PRAY, LOVE”, with my gal pals Lysa, Candice and Nancy. I bought the books several Christmases ago and gave to my girlfriends as a sort of inspiration on how we could all achieve some self-awareness together! Nancy didn’t like it at all! Seems the main character left her husband for no apparent reason, thus sending her on this journey of self-discovery. I told Nancy, just because the main character doesn’t go into a whole lot of detail as to “why” she left him doesn’t mean he wasn’t a royal jack-ass! Give the girl the benefit of the doubt.
The movie was the hot topic of discussion in the shop today. My first client who is a super gracious lady, shared with Becca and I that she bought the book when it first came out. She was shopping at Sam’s Club and saw it in the book stack with a big price sticker covering up the word LOVE. She bought the book with the title “EAT, PRAY, LO…..” She said, “I thought to myself what an interesting concept for a weight loss book.” So…..she bought it. The next day at her bridge club, she was sharing with her friends about the new diet she was going to start after reading the book she just bought, “EAT, PRAY, LOSE” (she thought those were the other letters the price sticker was covering up!) She went on to explain, “I guess you get to eat, then you pray, then you LOSE!” Her friends howled with laughter, as Becca and I did, and explained to her that it was LOVE, not LOSE and it had nothing to do with losing weight! Just think, they may not could have made a movie about it, but I bet it would have sold more copies as a diet book, because you know what gluttons we are for those!
Cappy came in later and I asked her about possibly going with us to see the movie and she fervently declined. ”I saw it”, she said, and “I kept looking at my watch waiting for it to end!” ”You didn’t like it?”, I asked. ”No, I thought she was a self-absorbed twit with nothing to offer anyone.” ”The only good thing about the movie was the eating part!” Okay, I thought. I had to silently agree with her as I did read the book and yes, she is a little, no excuse me, alot into herself, but I do feel that when a woman has been in a relationship where she isn’t appreciated for who she is or can be, she needs to turn to herself and become “self-absorbed”. This is a selfishness that women usually don’t lavish on themselves very often.
This afternoon, I took my daughter who has just turned 21, to lunch at one of my fave’s, Grapes-n-Beans. We had a melted Havarti, the turkey slaw sandwich and two glasses of Pinot Grigio. While sipping the wine, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt for sitting there with this beautiful young lady in the middle of the day, enjoying ourselves. I pushed the guilt feeling back because the only person that made me feel that way was, “me”. I don’t want my daughter to have those feelings ever, and if going to see the movie, EAT, PRAY, LOVE, inspires her to be her own cheerleader, I am all for it baby!
Now in my world, as the above title reflects, my story is different. You see on my journey of self-discovery, I have learned that I ”PRAY” and be thankful for the “WORK” that comes my way so that I can “EAT”. Bottom line, it is all how you put things in perspective, right? So to all you women out there on your journeys, however you may travel, have a great time finding yourselves!
POSTED BY: “I”
Hey fans! Thanks for all of the encouragement to us about continuing the blog! It was nice to go to the grocery store or shopping in our premier retail store and have someone stop and say, “I miss your stories!” Not a week has gone by that we would not hear from a reader to “get back to it!” What happened? Well………go back to the winter when Lysa and I were in transition, and things just seemed to snowball! Won’t go into a lot of detail here, but as we get back to our stories, I am sure that along the way, we will spill our guts, sharing the highlights of our fascinating lives we have lived since December here in little ole Clayton Place!
Just got back from a cruise with my pals Candice and Lysa. Let me let you in a little secret…….Lysa turned 50 in July and that was the reason for the cruise, to CELEBRATE! The three of us have decided that we are going to write a manual on “budget cruising” as we had this one nailed! Candice found this deal back in January and it was sooooo cheap and we were able to make payments til June so we decided between the three of us, we could manage to clean our change jars out periodically to cover the installments….so what the hell, we made the commitment. (We decided to worry about the overall expense of getting there, during and back, later of course!)
When departure time was about a week away, we started to face reality. We really couldn’t afford to go, but we had managed to pay for our passages, so we had to get creative. Drinking is where they nail you on these trips. If you have not been on a cruise, let me explain how it works, you get these little “sail and sign” cards that are used throughout the trip and they are so easy to flash when the porter passes by with the tray of neon plastic cruise cups filled with syrupy tropical drinks topped with cherries and paper umbrellas…..at the end of the week when it is time to settle up….BAM! Suddenly those drinks don’t seem so good! We didn’t fall into that trap, no sir! We smuggled on board at least 6 bottles of wine and filled our Aquafina water bottles with rum and vodka. Of course, we had to carry on our luggage (Lysa struggled a wee bit, especially trying to juggle a dozen red roses she insisted in carrying along with her bags) . Candice and I would be making good time and we would notice Lysa wasn’t behind us and we would turn around and she would be re-adjusting her luggage and as Candice put it, ” it’s those damn roses!” They must have been pretty special for all the trouble she went to! We think she took them home and made potpourri or some silly shit!
We made it on and off, without incident about the alcohol. However, I didn’t think I was going to make it on board because of my passport (which I had just found two days prior to the trip, go figure?) and it is in my former name of IRENE BYNUM KELLER, and my driver’s license is in my former name IRENE BYNUM SANDS, and Candice booked my passage under my real name IRENE BYNUM. I decided to cover all the bases, so before departing I went to the Real Clayton Place Probate Office and retrieved a certified copy of my marriage license taking me from IBK to IBS so that the cruise line could make the connection between the two names. (Of course, at this time I didn’t realize that I was booked under IB). Man, was that lady at the boarding desk confused or what? She had to call a supervisor to figure out what name I could claim citizenship! It was so simple to me, but she just didn’t get it. I told her we could simplify matters and go by my stage name “Irene” and just drop all the last names like Cher and Madonna, but she didn’t see the humor in that statement! The ladies put their heads together and decided that during the trip, my name would be IRENE KELLER SANDS, and they dropped BYNUM altogether. I told my pals if I died at sea that week, please don’t let them bury me with that name! (No offense, just seemed a little ironic!)
 (We almost missed the boat in Key West, thanks to the big pineapple drinks we got in the “Smallest Bar”. Because of those drinks, we didn’t have the money to go visit Anna Nicole’s grave in Nassau as we had planned, BOO HOO! We were the last three on board and they WERE holding the boat for us, literally!)
After the cruise, I got home to Marvelous and our fabulous garden, and that is where the canning comes in!
 
This basket turned into this…………………………..!!!!!
Nothing really exciting there except I look at all the food I have squirreled away and I know we WILL eat this winter! It is nice to have a SAVINGS ACCOUNT of some sort these days, even if it is perishable! I have to say without sounding corny, I have found a certain contentment with our garden and the whole process of tending to it. Marvelous and I will be out there on a Friday evening picking beans, squash or tomatoes and we will look up and laugh and comment, “if our friends could see us now, who would believe this is how we are spending our Friday nights!” I think it has been a great way to stay out of trouble.
As for the “coasting”, we have some friends, Bill and Pat, that have created the best past time for “coasting” down the river! We have been fortunate enough to be invited to go with these two on several occasions. Let me explain their plan. They have a van named “Maxine” that is their river van and her only purpose is to shuttle people and the tubes and paddles (which they provide, I might add) to the river. We met them at Ingle’s parking lot, the morning of, and every person is issued a 32 oz. insulated drink holder with a straw and the best part is it has a strap that goes around your neck…….this is looking good! We are told to “fill up” in the parking lot and out they pull a cooler full of pre-mixed margaritas on ice! Of course, the drivers to the river do not indulge. Sipping along , we all hop into the vans and head to the end of Warwoman and out Hwy. 28 to the designated drop-off, but we are told as part of the ritual that “we must toast the Burrell Cemetery” as we pass by it. I guess one of them has a family member buried there, and we thought that was very respectful……we unload the vans, get our tubes, (the margarita cooler has it’s own tube!) and we re-fill our sippy cups and launch! We are all given a pack of salted peanuts to open as we take off (like they do in airplanes, get it?) and as we all are on our way, the leader toasts the trip……the usual toast? ”This does not f……g suck!” For the next four to five hours, we had the most fun we have had all summer! Bill and Pat just love doing these trips and all they ask from each participant is a bottle of margarita mixer to use on the next trip! They even had lunch packed for the group! I swear, I have lived here all of my life, but it took two Atlanta natives to teach me how to slow down and “coast” in my own back yard! Thanks Bill and Pat for the inspiration and for making my “coasting” part of the summer so memorable! Lunch is on us the next time we go! Scenery during the “coasting” I did this summer! Isn’t Clayton Place beautiful?
POSTED BY: ”I’ formerly known as IRENE
I hope this finds everyone ready to get back into the real world on Monday morning. After having had my son home with me for a entire week I don’t know how either one of us will get out of bed in the morning, but we will. It has been very nice to just sleep late and do whatever we wanted. We actually ventured down to Atlanta on Friday to pick up an item on his Christmas list which by the way is the ONLY Christmas list I have this year. All my girlfriends and I decided to just send cards and blow kisses and be done with it. We are always doing things for each other throughout the year which is REALLY what it’s all about anyway. I often times wonder why everyone gets so hung up on this “knocking ourselves out” for TWO DAYS A YEAR, Thanksgiving and Christmas. We should be “giving” every day of the year.
I have friends who get so stressed during the holidays. They have family that get all upset about who is coming, who is NOT coming , what they will eat, wear and on and on. Everyone should be able to just be themselves and enjoy being with those we love. I do feel that Christmas has gotten completely commercialized and so many people have forgotten the CHRIST in Christmas. I feel if you have little children it is only normal to do the Santa thing and I loved every minute of it!!!! I must say I really miss it and can’t wait until I have grandchildren one day to spoil at Christmas. But for all these other people who just get so stressed over the holidays. They are running around charging up their credit cards to buy gifts for people and baking and cooking and throwing parties and on and on. Hey, I’m not knocking it because the “Colonel’s Wife” use to do this every year . Until my son was about 4 years old and I realized I was missing all the fun and I said enough is enough. After that I only sent cards, baked cookies for my neighbors and even still invited friends over that could not go home to family but we cooked out and ate on the lanai with our shorts on and it was great! Last year we invited all of our “friends” , no family… I cooked a standing rib and everyone brought something and we had so much fun! It was the best Christmas I have had since my son was little. I expect this year to be right up there on my best list even if I will be without him. Ok, some hints on where I am going as I’ve had people already guessing. I can wear my shorts again (for sure) and no it’s not Florida and I don’t have to carry my passport.
Today I have been making money for my big holiday trip. Yes, I know it’s Sunday and I don’t normally work but I’ve been selling things on E bay and just in one day I have made over $500.00. And it’s been so easy… I’ve sold some jewelry and lots of Christmas things that I’ve carried around forever, some holiday linens I found from my shop and well …just stuff. So, if you have things you don’t know what to do with it’s really simple and a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon.
Now, for a Ms. Irene update. She is feeling much better and just trying to get caught up on everything that she got behind on while she was sick. She told me this morning that THE CLAYTON PLACE GIRLS have been asked to decorate a 3 foot Christmas tree for a holiday event to benefit FAITH, fight abuse in the home. Of course I jumped right on that and started thinking of what theme we could come up with. My first idea was to use all nutcrackers and blue balls, need I say more???? Then we decided to do a “Optimist Tree” and no I’m not going to tell you about it but we will take pictures and post when we get it all finished. It is so nice to be asked to help out with these fundraisers as FAITH is very close to my heart. We were fortunate enough to both be able to give something for the Rhapsody charitable event as the benefactor this year was Richard’s Kids. Last year Richard’s Kids provided 682 children in Rabun County with complete outfits and a “toy” for Christmas. Teachers who see the children on a daily basis choose the recipients and the siblings of these children also receive a gift.
There is lots of good during this time of year and even with the current economy there are so many ways to give… give your time , friendship and concern for others. Isn’t that what we all really want anyway? Clayton Place Girls, Rhapsody 2009
 I can honestly say that today has been a perfect day and I am back 100%. If you or anyone you know have or may have the swine flu, you have to rest, rest, rest. I have really taken it easy for the past week although normally I would have just jumped right back into the swing of things but as I get older I have learned to listen to my body . And my body has told me over and over not to overdo it. So, I have slept 12 hour nights, drank lots of green tea and stayed home away from germs… And I have gotten a lot done at home. I have faux painted my dining room, made drapes for my dining and living rooms, refinished a table and a hutch and oh yeah I am so proud of this , I switched out a shower head, I mean the whole thing …you know that thingie piece that comes out of the wall ??? Well, you can actually screw it out and put a new one in and now I have a really nice rainshower head . I amaze myself sometimes… Just shows that we women can do ANYTHING if we put our minds to it. .
Now poor Irene has been really sick the past week and no she did NOT get the flu from me. She was so funny because every time she would bring me something while I was sick she would call ahead and say “I’m almost there and I’m leaving “it” in the garage”. She actually has bronchitis but seems to be feeling better today I just hope she doesn’t overdo it too soon!
Here I am at the end of the day, watching Dancing With The Stars on my dvr as it is the final night. I love this show!!! Most of my friends watch Project Runway but no not me and they all think I’m crazy but I am addicted to this one. I keep telling my son my goal in life is to write a best selling book and become a celebrity/star so I can dance on DWTS and of course he laughs and snorts and rolls his eyes. One day he will be sorry for making fun of me all the time. Hey, it never hurts to dream , does it?
I spent the day working in Atlanta and on the way home tonight I started thinking how fortunate and thankful I am for actually being able to make a living at something that I love doing. I went down today to deliver some things to a client in Buckhead and then buy Christmas trees and ornaments for the clubhouse and I can’t wait to see it all come together. I decorated a house on the Christmas tour of Homes a couple of years ago for a client of mine and we had so much fun buying and decorating everything. She and I had worked on her fabulous home for about 2 years and knew exactly what we wanted to do. I’m really looking forward to working on the clubhouse as I won’t be decorating for myself this year. Yes, you heard right , this will be like the first time ever…. I remember when I had my first little house all to myself when I was in my 20s I had this really “prissy” tree, it had miniature clear lights and mauve ornaments and pearls for garland ( yeah the 80s). Then when I had my son I changed to the medium size colored lights because little ones love all those different color lights and if they blink , all the better. And for some reason I have kept these through the years. My tree is so sentimental to me as we have always collected Christmas ornaments in our travels and for the past 16 years I ‘ve had someone who makes ornaments for the tree. I can not imagine ever getting rid of these! Guess I will have one of those two suitcases I’m taking when I leave here filled with “jingle bells”.
My son and I were suppose to have left last Friday on our way to Baltimore for a couple of days and then on to Vermont to spend Thanksgiving with our good friends. But I realized there was no way that I could make the trip as I was still so tired and we made the right decision. Although we have had several invitations we are going to just hang out at home and I’m going to fix a few of our favorite things and have a ”family Thanksgiving” as my son said since we won’t be together for Christmas. I found out last week that he was going to spend Christmas with his Dad this year and I am glad that he made the decision but it will be the first year in 16 that I won’t be with him… so I decided to give myself a gift and I am flying out the morning after my son for an entire week in my most favorite place in the world and no it isn’t Disneyworld. I won’t go into the details right now as I will save that for another post but I am SO excited and THANKFUL… thankful for all the wonderful friends that I have in my life that continue to encourage me and make me feel so loved. So, be thankful and enjoy!!!! And I’ll see you at the gym first thing Friday morning….
LET GO MY EGGO! 
That darn mouse I shot with the squirt gun a few weeks ago got me back! I got up this morning after convalescing the last 3 days from, I guess, the flu……drug myself downstairs and walked into the laundry room, opened the dryer and damn if that mouse didn’t just roll out onto the floor right in front of me! He was deceased, of course. I believe he was wrapped up in some sheets that were clean and folded on the shelf next to the washer/dryer, and last night before going to bed, I had the bright idea to throw them in the dryer with a dryer sheet and freshen the bed up after being sick. Well, that went over like a lead balloon as after I turned the dryer on, I laid back down on the couch and fell asleep…..so this morning, waaaaa laaaaa! He got me good! (One less mouse in the house, yah!)
Through my fevered hazed stupor, I caught up on alot of sleep, and while sleeping I had the television on to keep me company, being by myself all day. I asked Marvelous when he got home night before last, “is there really an Eggo Waffle shortage or did I dream that?” He quickly responded with concern, “yeah there really is a shortage of waffles!” He then reported that a warehouse in Atlanta flooded and created this national shortage. I quickly responded to put his poor mind at ease, “don’t worry, I own a waffle iron.” That calmed him down.
There seems to be this “vampire” craze on all the networks due to the premier of ”New Moon” the second part of the Twilight series. Every network has their version of sexy, pubescent blood suckers to appeal to the masses that the above mentioned phenomenon has created. I kept hearing in my subconscious sleep, “are you Team Edward or Team Jacob”? I woke up thinking, “yeah, I want to be on a team with vampires, or worse yet, vampire lovers?” I don’t know about you folks but I will take Dr. Frankenfurter, the sweet transvestite from the ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW ANY DAY!  Just wait thirty some odd years from now and see if “Twilight” is still packing in those theatres at midnight, huh? No way! We will still be doing the TIME WARP in our wheelchairs, so there! I must say that my daughter, Becca is attending the premier of New Moon tonight at midnight and more power to her and her friends. I am all for her following the fun of a cult movie classic and I am glad she has gotten caught up in the craze. I will worry if she starts wearing fangs though……. THAT WOULD BE REALLY CREEPY BECCA! 
Although I had all of this daytime entertainment on the tube to occupy my time, it is rather helpless laying there not able to get up and move when you know your bank account is overdrawn! (Thanks Lysa for covering me, what would we do without our girlfriends?) Poor Marvelous had to go to town for me and get medicine, ginger ale and soup; he was a very good nurse. He is rather fearful of contracting the bug and he is keeping me at arms length, literally. Oh well, at least that is temporary. When I talked with Lysa tonight, I thought I would share with her all of the news headline updates that I had obtained and when I got to the story about Sara Palin’s daughter’s ex posing in Playgirl, she told me, “Honey, that is oooold news.” Shucks, I thought I had a scoop there. Then I surprised her with Oprah’s latest guest (no, not Sara Palin) JENNA JAMISON! She hadn’t heard about that one! Oprah did a whole show on women and porn. It seems that a new Nielson poll for the internet shows that 1 out of 3 viewers of pornography on the internet are women. So even if I am not a porn viewer that means out of my 6 closest girlfriends, 2 of them are! Oprah’s advice to viewers is, “next time you are out with your girlfriends, bring it up by asking, “Girl, do you watch porn on the internet?” She said we would be amazed by the responses! I can’t wait til our next girls night out! This has given me something to look forward to when I get well. Well, that is all the NEWS for now. Hope you all stay healthy through the Holiday! (As I am closing out this post my inner monologue is saying, “Dr. Frankenfurter is freakishly sexy.” Oh no, is that considered porn ya think? I just might fall into that new statistic!)
Posted by Irene
 Whew… I was right. After going to the doctor last Thursday it was official, I had the dreaded Swine Flu , H1N1 and let me tell you it has kicked my butt. Here I was all lah de dah… I take vitamins along with epicore ( a immune system builder), I eat right, I work out, no I’ll never get that nasty stuff even though my son had it and lives in the same house and I would rub his head and take his temperature and feed him and all I was just determined to NOT get the flu…. Well, wrong!!!!! Today is the first day I have been out of the bed and I HATE laying around in bed, ok let me rephrase that I HATE laying around in bed by MYSELF (ha ha) but especially by MYSELF when I am sick!!! I was still running a fever this morning after 5 days and yeah I’ve been on tamiflu, steroids and 800 mg liquid gel ibuprofen and I’m like when is this ever gonna end????
I called Candice and asked her if she knew of a worse female murderer than Lizzie Bordon??? I know you’re like what the crap is she talking about ??? We were talking a couple of weeks ago and she said that she just could not understand why all the bad stuff that always happens to me well, happens to me… If you read the blog you know it is just a constant non stop occurrence in my life. If shit is gonna happen well it is usually gonna happen to me or of course Irene. Candice asked me a couple of weeks ago if I had ever done anything really bad that I had not told her about and now I was getting my just reward. I said ”like what”? And she said ” I don’t know, maybe kill somebody”? The only thing we could come up with was that maybe in a “previous life” I had killed somebody . Who knows maybe I was Lizzie Borden, you know the woman who killed her mother and father with an ax?
I’m sure you all think the flu has made me totally delirious and that I am hallucinating, well let me tell you this morning I would have agreed with you 100%. I asked my son last night if he had clean clothes for school today and he said “yes”. So, this morning when he opened my bedroom door at 7:45 to check on me and tell me goodbye before his ride was here to pick him up I could have sworn he still had on this robe. I’m like what have you got on??? And he says “ my bathrobe and I’m wearing it to school “… now I”m thinking to myself am I dreaming or has the flu and fever like gone to my brain BIG TIME ? He started laughing and said he had forgotten but this is spirit week and today is pajama day. Ok so I’m NOT crazy after all and I turned over and went back to sleep. When I woke up around 10:30 I got so tickled thinking about this that I just about choked to death from coughing so hard so I decided to not laugh today, DO NOT LAUGH, DO NOT LAUGH or you will cough …. so then what am I suppose to do? Sit around and feel sorry for myself? Watch some sad movie on Lifetime, I’ve done enough of that already? Watch Dr. Phil or of course CNN is enough to make you NOT LAUGH. Have you ever really wondered what you are suppose to do when you have the flu??? Maybe someone should write a little manual to tell you what to do when you have the flu so you do not lose your mind of boredom. Now no one would be bored if you have friends like Ronnie who instant messages you on Facebook to be sure you don’t have any of the side effects of the swine flu, all I’ll say is my answer was ” no last time I checked I only had 2 boobies”. After sleeping 20 hours a day for 3 days and laying in the same ole bed I managed to get up Saturday night and take a nice long shower , change pjs and sheets … Oh , how I love high thread count clean sheets , that has to be one of life’s greatest luxuries. Then yesterday I was SO tired that I felt like I had been thrown under a bus and run over again and again ( that seems to be happening to me a lot lately).. so I slept most of the day again and barely could stay awake to watch my favorite shows Desperate Housewives and Brother & Sisters.
Around 11:00 this morning after I decided to NOT LAUGH., I decided that I had to get out of the bed and do something today but not too much. So, I have sat in my big chair and a half with my feet propped up on my ottoman all day and actually had a pretty good day. I’ve drank lots of hot green tea, I’ve paid bills on line, I’ve sent out emails that I ‘ve been meaning to , I’ve made lists of things I want to do and need to do in order of importance. I’ve made some phone calls and one in particular made me want to kick myself in the butt for even feeling a little bit sorry for myself. A new and dear friend of mine started her chemo on Friday and she has been so sick. There are ALWAYS so many people out there who are feeling so much worse than we are so we all need to” just get over it.” I am actually going to venture out this afternoon and pick up my son and let him run a couple of errands as I have not even checked my mail in a week, who knows I may have a big check from Publishers Clearing House in my mailbox and not even know it. Hope everyone stays well and does not get the dreaded flu cause it aint fun!
Well it may have finally hit me… I woke up this morning with a terrible sore throat and I thought I had beat the dreaded swine, well maybe I have and I just have , well … a sore throat. At any rate since I don’t feel like talking this morning I guess I will just blog. Candice is back from her cruise and I was looking so forward to having our morning chat today and catching up with her as I’ve really missed having someone to chat with in the mornings. I’m sure everyone is thinking I can talk to my son in the mornings, yeah right… this is our normal conversation in the morning. “good morning son, how are you”? he responds “UGH”… I then reply “ok, do you have any tests today, anything special going on?” he responds “UGH”…and on our 3 minute drive this is how it goes. Now, if I should ask ” son, do you need any $$$?” I normally get a longer response than “UGH”. And as I noticed this morning when I always say to him as he gets out of the car” I love you and I hope you have a great day”, he actually says either “me too, Mom” or this morning he actually said ” I love you too and thanks for your support Mom “. So, that is actually a pretty nice way to start my day off even with a sore throat.
My son and a group of his peers spent the day yesterday at Athens Academy where they competed in the one act play competition They were exceptional in performing the chosen play which was The Exonerated. He text me last night and said “WE LOST”… I text him back and said ” NO U DID NOT LOSE, U JUST DID NOT WIN”… BIG DIFFERENCE. So, of course we had a actual conversation this morning and I tried explaining to him how you never lose as long as you have enjoyed the journey and given your best and above all else have accomplished something you are proud of and can learn from. It seems as though I could say this several times this week. For all of you wondering, . Greg Allman was actually a candidate for the Clayton Mayor seat and he did not win on Tuesday, that same evening our very own Clayton Place Girl Ms. Irene performed in a Faith fundraiser spelling bee and no she did not win either but she said she had a great time. And I have recently “not won” for a lack of a better phrase in a “contest” I guess I’ve been in but you know what? Now that I look at the situation more closely this was truly a Godsend. So, I think we all need to realize that it is OK to not always win in life!!!!
Yesterday I spent the day with a friend who I don’t have the opportunity to visit very often. She is my son’s best friends Mom and we always have a great time together and it is always insightful to compare our two guys. We are both self described laid back women and we both enjoyed our day at the Atlanta Mart as we were not rushing each other and just took our time checking things out. Our first conversation of the morning began with her saying how everyone she talks to lately is so stressed and unhappy. I have noticed that too although I must admit that I have tried to weed those people out of my life. Now you may think that is awful but you know what LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO ALWAYS BE STRESSED AND UPSET. I know people think a 49 year old single mom who gets all dressed up as a “fairy” and goes out on Halloween is probably crazy and a true bubble head or someone that dresses up herself and her viking friend. But you know I don’t care because guess what ???? IT WAS FUN!!!! And what is wrong with having FUN in life??? I think so many people forget to have FUN>>>> Then there are people who know how to have fun and have found that side of their life and in doing so maybe find their “true self” but they are scared to enjoy this side of themselves. I think if there is ONE thing in life that I am most proud of is KNOWING WHO I AM . I read something the other day that really spoke to me LIFE IS NOT ABOUT FINDING YOURSELF BUT ABOUT CREATING YOURSELF. I’ve also seen a lot of people lately that have stayed in relationships but have changed to stay. Why do you want to be with someone that does not like you the way you are but wants you to change ??? I’m sorry but I just don’t understand that…. I am who I am and there is no way that I am changing for someone else and I will continue to be by myself unless someone comes along that likes me and loves me just the way I am.
So, now I’m going to go workout so I can lose another 15 pounds, think I’ll buy me some new clothes and reinvent “my look”, of course I’m going to color my hair, how do you think I would look as a brunette, maybe even a red head??? Now these changes I can handle because life would become terribly boring if we do not change some things but you know what I’m talking about… our true beliefs, religion, politics, etc. and how we interact with others and love others, to me that is what is important in life!
We have been asked to submit two posts each (2 from me, 2 from Lysa) to FUNNY NOT SLUTTY network to be considered for publication in their upcoming “Bloggers Book”. We would like for you to help us pick the entries.
Email your choices of posts by their titles to claytonplacegirl@yahoo.com before November 12th. We will publish the outcome of the poll right after that and, of course, if any of our writing gets published, you will be the first to know!
Thanks!
WHAT A HALLOWEEN! After the first brawl of the evening, and I mean EARLY in the evening, it kind of set the tone for the night for some! The limo had just dropped me, Marvelous, the Bubble Fairy and Gregg Allman off at Zeppelin’s and I mean in two shakes of a sheeps tale of us walking in the door, a fight broke out! It was quickly broken up and the people involved were herded outside and I STILL don’t know what happened, but I can surely say THAT is not the norm for Zeppelin’s!
There were some doozy costumes last night. The “Billbur” gets the prize for the most inappropriate costume. He was “Super Dad”. I am posting the picture, need I say more?
Billbur, you are sick, but we love ya! I have to brag that Marvelous and I won the best duo costume with our viking outfits. It didn’t hurt the effort that he looks like a viking 24/7, he just doesn’t usually wear the fur and the horned helmet all the time!
When Lysa got into the limo, she looked over at the Gregg Allman character and sweetly asked, “Now who is thaaat?” “It’s Gregg Allman”, we chimed. Of course she was wanting to know who was “Gregg Allman”. On the way to get Lysa, I told “Gregg”, “you know this isnt’ a set up date although I know it looks like it”. He didn’t seem to mind. We will keep Gregg Allman’s identity a secret until after Nov. 3rd, ooooops, I may have given it away!
Like the Bubble Fairy reported earlier, we had a great time at Zep’s, but then we got a little antsy and decided to go check out the rest of the night scene. We hopped in the limo, and by this time we added to the roster ” Stevie Nicks” and two “cereal” killers. The “baby” and the cradle robber (need I say Nancy & Ronnie), a french maid, a dirty old blind man and Cat Woman followed us in another vehicle. (BIG MISTAKE as I will explain in a bit.) We got dropped off at Dolan’s (formerly known as the Bulldog, formerly known as Harry’s), and in this small space there was a five piece band and hardly any room for us! We decided to walk on across the street and check out the Allstar and that place was happening! After looking for the Bubble Fairy (she had gone back to Zeppelin’s in the limo), I got to dance a few before the place had to close.
While there, another fight broke out in the parking lot and all we know is it involved this chick we all refer to as “Spun Out” (no, that was not her costume, that is her every day name!) I guess two idiots were fighting over her! I hope the winner has deep pockets and owns stock in Camel Cigarettes, he’ll need it to keep her up!
The trip back to Zeppelin’s included the “baby” and the cradle robber, Stevie Nicks, Gregg Allman, me and Marv, and the two “cereal” killers. When the limo got to Zeppelin’s there were blue lights from who else? Clayton Place’s Finest! Seems the dirty old blind man and the french maid were driving back from Allstar and got pulled over! Here is the catch, the dirty old blind man was a designated driver and over the course of the night we watched him drink MAYBE two glasses of wine and the rest of the time he drank soda or water! He got arrested anyway, cause folks that is how it is in CLAYTON PLACE! Marv got out and went to get the Bubble Fairy and we dropped off Stevie Nicks and the “cereal” killers, but we had to carry the french maid, Cat Woman, Vogue Madonna, Man-Bear-Pig and some other unidentifiable chick home because the dirty old blind man was their ride! While pulled up in front of Zeppelin’s we were trying to figure out what all had happened when the “baby” got real upset and decided he wanted to go and tell Clayton Place’s Finest a thing or two and then he exclaimed, “if Bill is going to jail, then so am I!” I tell you what, it was a funny sight watching the “baby” scamper around in the limo with his baby blue “onsie” and the Bubble Fairy holding him with a death grip to try to keep him in the limo so he wouldn’t get his little bare ass arrested! After pulling off, we dropped off Gregg Allman, next the Bubble Fairy and then to top it off the cradle robber exclaimed “I feel sick!” Next thing we know she is hanging her green head out the limo’s window. The limo pulled over and the “baby” got her outside so she could have her privacy. The ”baby” got a little upset with me because I was taking pictures, but I was really trying to shoot his ass because his “onsie” was hanging open in the back and the baby had no drawers on! We are okay though, he is still my “BFF”.
The next day, the Marv and I were re-hashing the events from the previous night and we both agreed that was the best $25.00 we ever spent! (That is the cost per person to have the limo carry you around Clayton Place.) Next time you get asked to party and have a limo carry you around, don’t complain about the cost, because it could SAVE you lots of headaches, heartache and money to boot! We had asked the dirty old man and french maid to ride with us, but THEY didn’t want to spend the 25 bucks a piece! In Clayton Place, you have to err on the side of caution, and as the french maid shrieked the question to all of us in the limo after her husband’s arrest, “Why do ya’ll put up with this? How do you live here?” I have to answer as Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, “There’s no place like home!” “There’s no place like home!” “There’s NO PLACE LIKE CLAYTON PLACE!” Too bad the Bubble Fairy didn’t have ruby slippers on that night, huh!
POSTED BY IRENE THE VIKING WENCH
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TODAY TO OUR FRIEND AND MENTOR HOLLIS GILLESPIE! WE LOVE YA, YOU BLEACHY HAIRED HONKY BITCH!
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